Forever Fun - Tickle My Bible Translation

Let's translate this passage like most of the other passages containing the Greek words with the root "aion." It'll be fun!

"...and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of forever."

Even more fun...

"...and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of forever, and the harvesters are angels."

"As the weeds are collected and burned in the fire, so will it be at the end of forever."

Jesus answered [Wait, who is this "Jesus" character? I thought His name was Yahshua.], “The sons of forever marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy to share in forever to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage.

"Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this forever or in the one to come."

SEE! Didn't I tell you this would be fun? Why stop there?

He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of His servant David, as He spoke through His holy prophets, those of forever past, salvation from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us...

Heaven must take Him in until the time comes for the restoration of all things, which God announced long ago through His holy prophets.

Hmmm, now I really like this one.

"But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting"

FROM everlasting... TO everlasting. Now does that make sense?

Let's do the same with the phrase οὐ μή (ou mē). Here are some examples of correct translations made wrong for the sake of illustrating how ridiculous it is to translate this phrase as "never." “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will never pass from the law till all is fulfilled. Mat 5:18 Assuredly, I say to you, you will never get out of there till you have paid the last penny. Mat 5:26 But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye into another: for verily I say unto you, Ye shall never have gone over the cities of Israel, till the Son of man be come. Mat 10:23 Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall never taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom. Mat 16:28 For I say unto you, Ye shall never see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord. Mat 23:39 And Jesus said to them, “Do you not see all these things? Assuredly, I say to you, never one stone shall be left here upon another, that shall never be thrown down.” Mat 24:2 But I say unto you, I will not G3364 drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom. Mat 26:29 Here is one passage corrected to what it should be: For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, nor will be. Mat 24:21 Is this making sense now? We have to rightly divide the word of truth.