The Cost of the Disciple's Cross

How do I KNOW that I would give my life for Him? I can talk all I want but there comes a time I have to prove to myself that I'm not just speaking empty words. I don't need to prove it to Him or anyone else. *I* need to know that I'm sincere. If He said to give it all up for Him then that is what I must do to know there is nothing holding me back from true faith.

Do I value acceptance & praise from men, friendship, family, community, money, hobbies, dreams, desires, ambitions, love of a good fight, ANYTHING more than Him? There's only one way to find out. Die to self and go only where He calls. How do I know when He calls if I'm anchored by my own desires and the life I've built? How do I distinguish His voice from the clamor of society rattling around in the shadows of my mind? From my own inward self talk? It takes more than The Bible. It takes a life-long search for the truth. It takes more than prayer. It takes actually looking and listening for God's response.

I've been led into a sort of "wilderness" experience where I'm alone with my thoughts a lot. It is absolutely crazy how much self talk goes on in my mind. I believe God led me here to get me away from many of the distractions of life and to focus on hearing Him more in my heart. A wilderness experience will challenge a person in ways they never even thought about. God has revealed character flaws that reach deep into my soul. I must stand strong for Him through these mostly inward trials. I'm facing my own sins and purging my soul so that I can draw nearer to Him and hear His whisper in my ear.

When Yahshua was baptized the first thing He did was go into the wilderness TO BE TEMPTED BY THE DEVIL. He immediately entered into arguably the greatest trial of His life up to that point. The devil offered Him the world for His worship but He was not deceived. He had the Spirit and knew His Father well enough to resist all of His desires from the most basic to the most viciously compelling - from wanting to eat to wanting the world. Think about it. He didn't eat for 40 days and 40 nights. That is literally facing death. Only by the grace of God would He be able to survive that. So how much have I resisted my own desires trusting in God's grace? Have I truly died to myself and laid it all on Him?

For He was indeed crucified in weakness, yet He lives by God’s power. And though we are weak in Him, yet by God’s power we will live with Him to serve you. 2 Corinthians 13:4

Once Christ succeeded through His trial He immediately began His ministry. But He first needed to be tested. Without the test and the grade there is no proof of understanding. Although I believe that Christ would have succeeded anyway I also believe He went through all of this as an example to show us what must be done in order to take up our cross. Let us look to His example and apply it to our lives.

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Can’t you see for yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you — unless you actually fail the test? 2 Corinthians 13:5

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. 1 Thessalonians 5:21

Therefore I urge you, brothers, on account of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has given you. Romans 12:1-3

Consider this today as you sit in Easter service surrounded by people professing the name of Christ. Ask yourself how many are really serving Him. Do not exclude yourself. Ask yourself why you are sitting there. Ask yourself if you have really examined your faith. If you look hard enough with the eyes God has given you, perhaps you will start to understand how He feels about your "Easter" worship. Perhaps you will see that this holiday does not bring glory to His name. After all, it is named after a pagan goddess.